Monday, December 25, 2006
Today, i met
Fionnuala. Pronounced like 'Fin-oo-la' just to clear that up. She's thin, with black hair tied up in a bun, amazingly resembling Popeye's wife, Olive, and she exists only in my imagination.
Or rather, she exists only after Farhan proudly declared that he was going to name his daughter that. Yes. Fionnuala. Whateva it means.
Being unschooled since Sec. 2, i can hardly blame the poor guy for picking out a strange slash weird plus totally inane name for his daughter. But then Yati, his two-year 10-pointer Republic Poly girlfriend, let the truth out. She was deadset on calling their daughter Natasha, which Farhan hated and wouldn't even consider.
Skinny Yati challenged him to find something better so he grabbed the Irish baby name book, opened it roughly at the middle and said something to the effect of: 'Ah. nie okay per. Laen and unique. Macam namer bunger.' The name in question was 'different' and 'unique' enough for Yati so that was the end of that row and their baby's fate was sealed.
Poor little girl.
Seventeen years from now, this beautiful little girl will grow up and be called Fionnuala. I can almost picture it. In practice people she meet would tend to squint at her, sort of shuffle around and say in a pensive voice 'Fiona?', hoping and praying that they've misheard the pretty young lady. If i were with her, I'd have to correct those people (sometimes two or three times) and reassure them that no, her parents don't hate her, they just wanted her to be 'unique'.
And that's the best case scenario i could imagine for the girl. Another favourite of mine (Nila's idea) is when she just told someone her name and they just give the look and wait for her to repeat her 'real' name. However, it's not uncommon for it to be accompanied by a particularly aggrieved (and often loud) 'What?!'. Once they've got over their disbelief the classic response goes something like this: while giving everyone around them 'she's a freak' looks they will say 'Oh well, that's very...different,' and walk away looking shell-shocked.
Luckily nearing Maghrib, i get to leave the insane conversation to get home before Whitney Houston scream at me. But when i punched in the next day for work and put on my McCafe nametag, the whole absurd name-thing came to me again. Imagine if Fionnuala had to wear a nametag during her first day in school. I could imagine the teacher saying in a world weary tone: 'Do you have a nickname?' Later in the week, after a few days of yelling 'Let's go Foo!' at her he finally attempted her full name and sent her off to lunch with a rousing cry of 'OK Vanilla!'
Farhan and Yati, your daughter will grow up to hate the both of you. So for the love of Christmas, just name her Hidayah will you? Name her something weird like Fionnuala, and just see what she'll turn out to be.
And i'm blogging that after five days the conversation has taken place. I was attached at
Shaw for Christmas Eve (i love being back where i belong), i love
my boyfriend more and more each day (you know i do), i made friends with
KC's deejay pelajar, Amy and the
soon to be deejay pelajar, Daya, i did a
friendster account for the DJ Pelajarz and a
forum too (djpelajarria.proboards98.com), i watched the most beautiful goal of the season from
Paul Scholes (not to mention the two brilliant goals from darling
Ronaldo), i finished my excruciating draggy duty at the
Singapore Garden Festival....but...
I still think 'Fionnuala' is stupid.
9:01 PM
