Friday, April 13, 2007

The Promise

In my lifetime, i've made quite a number of promises which i either forget about, or simply just break it. Guess now a word of promise dun mean as much anymore. Now all the promises we should ever made must only be between ourselves and God. Now that should be a promise of a lifetime. And that is a promise we'll hold...

I remembered a promise i once made Andy. I promised to love him til the day i die. I promise never to leave him. I promise to stay on by his side regardless of whatever shit we'll go through. And i think i've kept my promise. I stick by it so much that i didn't realise it's eating me up. The promise i tried to fulfil gone to a waste because he simply wouldn't appreciate. Could it be my fault now? Now that he has reappear somehow, am i suppose to continue the promise i made to him?

NO. Never ever.

He asked me 'What the hell?' Go search for the answer within yourself. Ever since i met u, i've done nothing but wait. You carried on with your nonsense and yet i waited. You keep disappearing, and i still waited. You dragged me into misery but i endured and i waited. Simply because i promised i would. But there is a limit to every patience...and mine, Andy dear, has reached its peak.

Sitting outside Macs with Sha, Les, their friend and Kid yesterday, it made me flashback through all those times. Kid is sitting beside me, and flirting with Sha, trying to make me jealous. I admit that i am, you can't blame me if you see how pretty Sharmeela is...but my mind aren't really there with them at the moment. Kid's innocence made me thought of everything that has been circulating my brain, and damaging it in the process.

And dunno what more i couldn't do. I WANT OUT.

I remembered Kid tearing up Ronaldo's picture in the Newspaper into little little pieces. The thought of that could make me smile. And yet, it some sort of rare smile you'd rather hide then show.

Maybe sometimes it's better this way. Maybe i could build a future with him afterall.

I never should have promised - it's a lesson i've learnt with time.

Id.nurHIDAYAHhalim.24november89.
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MUSLIM.malay.insane.wayward.
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